The Fox and the Pervert
by Mr. Munch
Summary: Naruto and Jiraiya are together from the beginning. Thus Naruto is one, HUGE perv. Join the mysterious being called Man as he recalls the story of Naruto Uzumaki, the perverted 7th Hokage. Harem, lemons, and all that jazz. ON HIATUS


Jiraiya, Legendary Sannin and a massive perv. What was he doing currently? What you'd expect. It's what his apprentice was doing that'll really interest you.

The boy was following in his master's footsteps and creeping on women.

What was his name? Haha! Well believe it or not, the boy I'm referring to is the 7th Hokage, Naruto Uzumaki. Yes, really! The 7th Hokage hasn't always been the proud man he is today. In fact, he's a HUGE pervert. Maybe even more so than his master.

How did such an amazing if a little obnoxious man go from a perverted kid to the most well received Hokage in history? Well that's what I'm here to tell you about.

Who am I?

For now I'm the one you can call Man. Or perhaps Shinobi? Samurai? In truth am I all of those things and more. I am history itself. I am the ink and the page. I am Man and Beast. I am what some could call God.

All you need to know is that I will be telling you the story of the man that redefined the nature of shinobi, and the nature of Man itself.

And that story begins here, in a hospital room.

A small child, newly born and newly orphaned clutched the blanket wrapped around his small frame with hands that had yet to see blood. But they would. They always would. For as much as any person could affect history, no man's hands went through it clean of blood.

At least. No man so far.

The child was sleeping now, surrounded by many other children that would be his peers, but not yet, for now, they were all just small children, sleeping together in peace.

His head was topped by a tuft of golden hair. His eyes, though yet to open would shine a beautiful blue. His cheeks each decorated by 3 small whisker marks, oh how his mother would have swooned over them.

But she could not see them now. Nor would she ever. She was dead. His father was as well. They had died the night before, October 10th, the night of their child's birth…as well as the night of one of their village's worst tragedies.

A demon called the 9 Tailed Fox had rampaged throughout the village. It killed thousands…separated families…destroyed the history of countless shinobi long passed.

It was thanks to the courage, and two idiotically strong wills that the beast was contained. And the village could move on with only a few thousand lives lost.

It was in the hallway of this hospital that the child's destiny would change forever. His father's master, the Hermit Sage Jiraiya had arrived. To see his godson.

The white haired man stared blankly at the child in the room. He read the nameplate below the cot and chuckled. So they had really decided to name the boy after his book character after all.

What was this feeling? It pressured him so harshly he could hardly bear it. It hurt. What…what was this familiar feeling pressing down on him?

Oh. That was it. Heartache.

His student Minato…and his wife Kushina. Those two people that he had loved so dearly. They were gone…and this child…this child was all that was left of them.

He hardened his heart for the moment.

There would be time for grieving later. Now he had to fulfill his duty as a godfather. He had to protect their legacy…their everything.

And so, the Perverted Hermit. One third of the Legendary Sannin trio. Took custody of the small child his precious loved one's child.

Time. Such a simple concept. Yet so vastly complicated. Something so hated yet so craved. It flows so quickly yet seems to take forever.

As of now, time had passed quickly for the Hermit Sage. The boy, Naruto was already 6 years old. And was already just as much a loudmouth his mother had been.

He was currently walking behind the Sage, his face set in a pout, and his hair matted with saw dust. Why? Another prank in the Academy.

Naruto's class was on the second floor so the little demon had decided to cut some of the boards by the teacher's desk loose. It was harmless fun really. The teacher only broke one rib.

Either way, the Sage was phoned and Naruto was sent home early. The Sage had sighed and rubbed his temples. He had given up a life of traveling and fresh waves of beautiful women to raise the demon child, and it was not quite as easy as he had expected.

"Pervy Sage I don't see what I did wrong! You always tell me to be myself and have fun, and I thought it'd be funny to make the teacher fall through the floor! Now you're giving me the same look everyone else does," Naruto cried.

Jiraiya stopped walking. Had he…had he really looked at the boy with such contempt? The Sage knew how the villagers treated Naruto, with hatred, or simply just ignoring him, pretending he didn't exist. It wasn't because of his pranks…it was because of the Fox.

The very same Fox that had killed thousands 6 years prior was sealed within the boy. And it was for something he couldn't control that people treated him like he was nothing.

So…had Jiraiya really looked at the boy with the same hateful eyes?

Jiraiya turned and crouched low so that he was eye to eye with the child. He smiled at him and ruffled his spiky blond hair. "Hey now, you know that you'll always be my little pal! I'm just a little cranky that I couldn't get that cute principal's number is all!" Jiraiya lied.

The boy wiped his tears and looked up at the Sage; his shining blue sphere's alight with hope. "R-really Pervy Sage?" he asked.

The Sage stood and poked the boy's cheek.

"Sure am! You keep being yourself Naruto! Never, and I mean never let anyone tell you differently, you got that?" he asked.

The boy laughed and grabbed the Sage's sleeve. "You better believe it! I'm always gonna pull pranks! And someday, I'm gonna be the Hokage! Even cooler than all the rest, then everyone will think I'm way better than Sasuke-teme!" he cried.

The Sage smiled inwardly, but decided to raise an eyebrow at his godson as they walked. "Sasuke? Who might this be? Don't tell me you have a boyfriend Naruto!" the Sage teased.

The boy grew tomato red, much like his mother's hair. "N-no way! That Sasuke-teme is such a jerk! He gets all the girls! Even Sakura-chan! I don't get why they all like a jerk like him!" Naruto insisted.

Jiraiya laughed heartily. "Don't you worry Naruto, I'm gonna teach you _all_ about women!" The Hermit Sage said, his cheeks glowing red at the thought of his latest conquest. He may not be traveling and experiencing all types of new women, but the women in Konoha certainly were nothing to scoff at.

"You mean it Pervy Sage!?" Naruto cried with glee.

Jiraiya smiled down at the boy. Now he could remember why he had decided to raise the boy. He was exactly like his parents.

"Yeah, I mean it buddy," he replied.

 **Sooooo, I'm back and stuff(ish). I don't think I put the "ish" in the right spot there…whatever. So um, I've had this idea a while, and I think I may just finish this one. Don't count on anything though.**

 **Anyways, for those of you who for some reason follow me still, thanks and junk. For the new guys, thanks for checking me out, take it or leave it.**

 **Anyways, yes, this story will follow the path of original Naruto, but rather Jiraiya will have raised Naruto from the beginning, so, Naruto is gonna be a pretty huge perv. Anywho, this'll be a harem series, though I'm keeping it small, I'm thinking at max 6 or 7 girls.**

 **I want to make Naruto actually experience a relationship, so even though he's a perv, he won't be sleeping around all the time, though he may here or there bed an occasional girl, at least up until he starts relationships with the women in the harem.**

 **I will say this for sure about the harem, the girl's Naruto beds pre-the time he starts dating Hinata, because he will date her, and she will be his first harem girl, anyways, the girls he beds pre-Hinata will not be in the harem, so that'll narrow the list down a bit.**

 **Also he won't date Sakura; I'm for sure getting Sarada in this bitch. For reals, Sarada is best new gen kid. If this series continues long enough I'll add in my own filler between Boruto era and the Last era, so dating the other girls and Hinata and shit. And maybe even after Boruto era. Who knows?**

 **I for sure don't.**

 **Anyways, thanks for reading and junk, also, I'm gonna put in lemons, though whether or not I'll put them in for his pre-dating harem girl conquests is up to you, so give me your thoughts, your hopes and dreams, and your harem suggestions I guess, this time I'll keep the harem to who I choose, though I'll consider your choices.**

 **Seeyah**


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